I have a few friends who I know are not particularly happy within themselves. It radiates from them. (Wow, which just made me realize how it must have been the same for me.........)
And they are constantly trying to change things. Nothing meaningful, but things that are easy to change. And I'm not judging. Because I used to be the same way. I'd get fed up and get a new job or we'd move or I'd color my hair crazy or cut it all off. Something that was within my control.
When I was unhappy, I changed what I felt like I could control.
Except it never worked because my hair or my job wasn't what was fundamentally making me unhappy.
Your happiness is pretty much entirely internal. It's virtually always a choice. It sounds so cliche and silly but it's so hard to accept and understand. I get it. There are so many seemingly huge outside factors that we think make us unhappy........but the only thing ever really keeping us unhappy is ourselves. We just don't realize the power we have over certain aspects of our lives.
And watching my friends struggle with that and watching them be as blind as I was is so frustrating.
Sometimes I just want to run up to people and hold their hand and say "You can be happier!!! It's right within your reach!!!"
But, the other cliche is true..........everyone has got to walk their own path.
But yeah......it just hit me today. I did a lot of stupid things and tried to change a lot of stupid things that were unimportant because I thought they were the only things I could control. And I thought if I could change what I could control, I would be happier.
So many crazy, disconnected leaps in logic.....